Decisive Action

“Fine,” I said to my captors, “If you want to treat me like an ape, I’ll act like an ape!”
“This’ll show them,” I thought to myself as I defecated in my hand and threw my feces against the wall, ceiling, and generally all over. Truth be told, I was already doing the defecating in my hand by the time I thought to say that line. If I really had to get specific, it would probably be more accurate to say the “ape” line was a later justification for throwing poop everywhere. I can see how some people might argue that, but really, it’s pointless to debate the chronology of the thing. I guess my point is get out of my face.